Step 2...

Do not let the title of this post worry you, folks, I am not about to break into song and start paying tribute to The New Kids on the Block by giving my own rendition of "Step by Step". I have not sunk that low yet in the depths of insanity.

This is a small post to give my peeps an update on my situation. As you all know by now, if you have been reading my blog, I am trying to attain a certain proper balance in my consumption habits. Wether it is food or alcohol, I want to be able, in the short term, to be more reasonable. I will not quit drinking altogether and discover Jesus in the process, that would not be me, but I want to have healthier habits, that is for certain.

Last weekend, I moved on to the second step of my three steps program. Forget the twelve steps process, this thing is adapted for me. All through last weekend, there were opportunities to have a few drinks, and I took them. But, each time, I put on the breaks early and stopped before even getting inebriated.

I am quite proud of myself. I know that a lot of people in my entourage thought that the absolute sobriety thing would last longer than a month, but I felt the effect it had on me wasn’t what I needed at this time. I always felt like I was punishing myself by refusing even the slightest of contact with my good old friend. I felt that I needed to trust myself one more time before absolutely giving up drinking.

So, on these occasions, over the weekend, I took a small dip. I am quite proud of the fact that I was able to stop before getting drunk. It is the same feeling I get when I pull away from the table before getting that feeling of fullness in my stomach. We all know that, by the time we feel full, we have eaten too much food. There was more booze available, and I didn’t partake. I was offered more and said no. That’s a huge step for a guy who wouldn’t stop until passing out, sometimes.

Considering the success I have had with the second step, I am moving on to the third and final one. The trick now is to take a little dip once in a while, but not too often. I will spend the next two weekend having fun and visiting stuff with my lovely wife. Those are times when I usually don’t indulge in the spirits, and I will make sure it stays that way. Then, I’ll try to keep it for special occasions, not whenever I feel like it. It also goes without saying that the amounts consumed each time will have to be reasonable.

So, I am continuing on this journey to a healthier me. Have a thought for me, my friends. It won’t be easy, but I want to do it. It has to work, or I’ll have to quit it all cold turkey, and that would suck. So, cheers, peeps, and have a good day!

28 days later

I haven’t updated my blog very much lately; I hope you people that were following me before didn’t totally forget about this site by now. To be honest, I don’t feel inspired to do very much these days. I thought quitting alcohol for a while would give me a boost in energy, but it has had the opposite effect. Even on the weekends, by the time midnight comes around, my body and my spirit gives up on me and asks for sleep. I think my whole system finds my new lifestyle so boring, so it just gives up and wants to go to bed.

Yes, it has been 28 days since I had my last drink. I have had a few drinking hiatus over the last few years, but this one has been the hardest ever. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to put all of this pressure on myself by telling everybody around me I was doing it. My intentions were good, I wanted to tough it out. After 28 days, the main thought in my head still is: when will I stop putting myself through this?

I still want to hang on to this sobriety thing, at least for a while. I want to clean out my system and give myself a head start with the weight loss thing. I will drink eventually; I just want to be able to do it responsibly.

I sincerely thought that I wouldn’t miss it that much. I was told that, after 28 days, it would all get better. It is not. I do not want to drink all the time, but, in certain occasions, it sucks to have to say: Nah, I don’t drink. There has to be a place right in between binging and staying absolutely sober. I want to find that place. Have a few drinks in good company, on the right occasions, not emptying bottles every weekend. That is something I want to accomplish for myself. I know I can do it. I will do it.

As for now, I will give myself some more time before I touch it again. I’ll keep you posted on this and other subjects.