The big picture

Last weekend, my wife and I went to Bangor to pick up my parents at the airport. They were flying back from Florida. We decided to make a little vacation out of it to go shopping and to enjoy the good restaurants over there. The duty free booze on the way back seemed like a good plan also. As I said, there was some shopping involved in the deal. I found some CD’s and DVD’s, and my wife found some clothes.

That being said, let’s move on the to the main subject of this particular entry in my blog.

While my wife was trying on a dress in this one particular store, I was standing around waiting in the area reserved for trying on clothes. Had I only known the horrors waiting for me in that section of the store, I would have kept away. Unfortunately, I was ill-informed and, thus, was subjected to an absolute atrocity.

You see, right there, there was a huge sectional mirror that would permit you to get a full view of yourself, front and back. Had I been properly briefed about the whole thing, I would have looked away. But, NO! I looked deep into the eyes of pure ugliness. I saw everything. My fat ass, my inflated forms, the back of my head and my increasing baldness. Sweet mother of God, it’s a good thing I was not naked.

At that particular moment, though, I wasn’t really feeling sorry for myself. To be honest, I felt bad for my wife. How can such a beautiful and smart woman have such poor tastes? Well, to be fair, I have changed quite a bit since I met her 11 years ago. I have gained over 100 lbs. That made me wonder what she would do if she met me for the first time today, looking like this. Would she fall in love with me? Would she even be attracted to me? God forbid, I’m not even attracted to myself right now. I barely feel like sharing a bed with myself now, so forget about touching myself.

This experience has made more resolute about losing a lot of weight. In the meantime, I take comfort in my sweet wife’s multiple kind words about me and in the looks of love she lays upon this broken ship. She may have weird tastes, in my mind, but she really seems to love me, and that is all that matters. I have to count my blessings. After all, looking like I do, one would think I would have to pay to get the affection of a woman. And one thing is for sure, she’s not with me for my money...